Friends Identity Essay

Friends Identity Essay-68
In childhood, friends are mostly other kids who are fun to play with; in adolescence, there’s a lot more self-disclosure and support between friends, but adolescents are still discovering their identity, and learning what it means to be intimate. But, “in adolescence, people have a really tractable self,” Rawlins says.“They’ll change.” How many band t-shirts from Hot Topic end up sadly crumpled at the bottom of dresser drawers because the owners’ friends said the band was lame? By young adulthood, people are usually a little more secure in themselves, more likely to seek out friends who share their values on the important things, and let the little things be.

In childhood, friends are mostly other kids who are fun to play with; in adolescence, there’s a lot more self-disclosure and support between friends, but adolescents are still discovering their identity, and learning what it means to be intimate. But, “in adolescence, people have a really tractable self,” Rawlins says.

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This is true in life, and in science, where relationship research tends to focus on couples and families.

When Emily Langan, an associate professor of communication at Wheaton College goes to conferences for the International Association of Relationship Researchers, she says, “friendship is the smallest cluster there.

The beautiful, special thing about friendship, that friends are friends because they want to be, that they choose each other, is “a double agent,” Langan says, “because I can choose to get in, and I can choose to get out.”Throughout life, from grade school to the retirement home, friendship continues to confer health benefits, both mental and physical.

But as life accelerates, people’s priorities and responsibilities shift, and friendships are affected, for better, or often, sadly, for worse.* * *The saga of adult friendship starts off well enough.

Sometimes it’s a panel, if that.”Friendships are unique relationships because unlike family relationships, we choose to enter into them.

And unlike other voluntary bonds, like marriages and romantic relationships, they lack a formal structure.

And though friendships tend to change as people age, there is some consistency in what people want from them.“I’ve listened to someone as young as 14 and someone as old as 100 talk about their close friends, and [there are] three expectations of a close friend that I hear people describing and valuing across the entire life course,” says William Rawlins, the Stocker Professor of Interpersonal Communication at Ohio University.

“Somebody to talk to, someone to depend on, and someone to enjoy.

These expectations remain the same, but the circumstances under which they’re accomplished change.” The voluntary nature of friendship makes it subject to life’s whims in a way more formal relationships aren’t.

In adulthood, as people grow up and go away, friendships are the relationships most likely to take a hit.

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