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When you love someone it’s not so difficult to accept their flaws. When they are upset with you, they talk to you about it in a calm way. They care more about the relationship than they do about being right. Who wants someone who only “loves” them because of how they look? What about the way I laugh or the way I play with my hair when I’m nervous?
Nearly two centuries before the French philosopher Alain Badiou examined the delicate psychoemotional machinery of why we fall and stay in love, his compatriot Stendhal set out to outline the dark side of life’s most radiant experience in his “crystallization” theory of the seven stages of infatuation and disillusionment.
But infatuation, argues Alain de Botton in a portion of Infatuations aren’t delusions.
They could be afraid to be confronted with your inherit value and the responsibility of caring for your heart.
Can you be mad at a pig for trampling on the pearls you tossed before him? Why is he stomping on them and getting them all muddy you ask? He doesn’t know any better, so you can’t take it personally can you? They are living for the moment-When you do the work of loving someone, the sacrifice of giving of yourself, the good feelings naturally follow.
When you know what you’re looking for, it’s easier to find it.
But too often, we mistake for love feelings rooted in the pleasant untruths of delusion — about ourselves, or the other, or the possibility that exists between the two.
Love at first sight is nothing more than infatuation.
And what’s more — Anything else is infatuation and will ultimately fade, and usually within a few months.
If you can’t come up with at least five or so reasons from that question easily, you do not love me.
People are largely mistaken on what true love really is.